Post by welsh gurl hj on Sept 27, 2006 14:25:45 GMT
Hey guys,
havin a really hard time at the moment and im hoping that u can cheer me up!
tomorow will be the first year anniversery of my best mates death and its really cutting me up. he was only 19 when he died and i feel sooo angry that he was cruely taken from us.
to make things worse we have a gig in two weeks time and i have writers block and i have had it for the past week, and its really pi**in me off! everything i write just isnt sounding right and doesnt feel right! i did write a song last night well actually 3 am this morning for dom but i dont think im getting my message across in the song and i cant take it to the band as it is still a very sore subject for us all
i really dont no what to do....sorry for dumping this on u all but i feel i cant talk to any one face to face or even over the phone. and if i keep it all bottled up then i will end up like dom, messed up in the head. my head is already messed up enough, i cant deal with emotions especially grief. and for some reason all my friends are comin to me for a shoulder to cry on. and they no im hopeless at that sort of stuff. i hate giving people hugs and tellin them it will be ok when i no it wont. i tell it how it is and most of the time its not gunna be ok. i think they just wanna see me crack under the pressure or maybe im just being paranoyed... i dont no.
like i said im sorry for dumpin this on u all but i really cant talk to any one bout this. i am supposed to be this hard b*tch that doesnt feel emotions, and im definatly not supposed to cry. everyone was shocked when i cried at his funeral, i was like i am human!
any way sorry for rambeling on about my messed up head.
hannah
havin a really hard time at the moment and im hoping that u can cheer me up!
tomorow will be the first year anniversery of my best mates death and its really cutting me up. he was only 19 when he died and i feel sooo angry that he was cruely taken from us.
to make things worse we have a gig in two weeks time and i have writers block and i have had it for the past week, and its really pi**in me off! everything i write just isnt sounding right and doesnt feel right! i did write a song last night well actually 3 am this morning for dom but i dont think im getting my message across in the song and i cant take it to the band as it is still a very sore subject for us all
i really dont no what to do....sorry for dumping this on u all but i feel i cant talk to any one face to face or even over the phone. and if i keep it all bottled up then i will end up like dom, messed up in the head. my head is already messed up enough, i cant deal with emotions especially grief. and for some reason all my friends are comin to me for a shoulder to cry on. and they no im hopeless at that sort of stuff. i hate giving people hugs and tellin them it will be ok when i no it wont. i tell it how it is and most of the time its not gunna be ok. i think they just wanna see me crack under the pressure or maybe im just being paranoyed... i dont no.
like i said im sorry for dumpin this on u all but i really cant talk to any one bout this. i am supposed to be this hard b*tch that doesnt feel emotions, and im definatly not supposed to cry. everyone was shocked when i cried at his funeral, i was like i am human!
any way sorry for rambeling on about my messed up head.
hannah
